Social conditioning, trauma, and autoimmunity

The other day, one of my clients shared with me that she spent years in therapy trying to want to have a baby, and to understand why she did not want one. She’s a woman after all, she should want a baby… no? All these therapies to “fix her” and to realize at the end that she just did not want one... and that it is fine.

What hurts me in this story, is not the realization that this amazing woman had and the choice that she made to be herself and just herself. But how for years, the social conditioning made her feel like there was something “wrong” with her for not wanting to have a baby.

The stigma of "being a woman so we all want to have baby" is so real and anchored. It is also very hurtful. Between the ones who can’t, the ones who don’t want, the ones who might later… We have to stop being seen as reproduction machine before being seen as woman. A woman does not become complete after giving birth.

I know that I am currently pregnant and that it is pure joy and happiness for me. Because it is my choice. I also know that it could not have happened and that it is also happening late in my life being already 40. Not everything was my choice as my autoimmune condition was a in the way of conceiving. But, before I started to try 5/6 years ago, I was simply not ready and did not want a child. I also never was a baby person and I am still not. Still, since the younger age and because I’m a girl, people have been pushing babies into my arms, as soon as a relation turns “serious” the baby talk was on the table, as soon as I got married, I got told “oh, next time we see you with a little one…”

And now, adverts, groups, doctors… make me jump in the category of “The very old future mum” …

I’m laughing at this.

What if it was another way?

The social conditioning of having to fit in boxes (wife, mum, pregnant, menopause, man/woman, young/old…) and getting "the right labels on at the right time" is also what creates a lot of traumas for most people. And sadly, women are highly affected by this… it’s in our hormones…

The link between trauma and autoimmune conditions is strong. We also know that 80% of people living with an autoimmune condition are women. Still in our hormones? Our trauma? Or both?

Drop the labels, be fully yourself even if it means being outside the boxes, heal your traumas and heal your autoimmune.

The online course "autoimmunity in women's health" has 2 lessons dedicated to stress, mindset and being fully yourself.

Learn and get supported to heal your traumas.

In health and with love,

Magali xx